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by Lauren O'Connell

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A cry in the hinge of the gate to the yard
Of the house that we briefly pretended was ours
A flicker of light as the lavender waved
And I vowed to surrender but part of me stayed behind
And I wanted to tell you

An unknown perennial grazes the eaves
By the window where you got a horsefly to leave
I’d come up holding a rolled magazine
And you wordlessly bade me to vacate the scene
And I did as you asked

But I’m never who I’d prefer to be
It’s like it never occurs to me
To let things go

A swirl in the wood of the bench by the curb
I sat solemn and sunburned and rendered inert
You found me there holding an ocean of need
And you wordlessly gave me permission to breathe
And I just started crying

And I wished I was not ashamed of it
Pinned down by the weight of it
Afraid that you’d be afraid of it
What I can’t let go


released September 8, 2023
Alex Pfender: Guitars, bass, percussion, synth, piano
Lauren O’Connell: Guitar, vocals, percussion, piano

Music and lyrics by Lauren O’Connell
Produced by Alex Pfender
Recorded at Tiny House
Engineered by Alex Pfender
Mixed by Beau Sorenson
Mastered by Carl Saff

Photography by Stephen Schauer
Hair/makeup by Keston Ridley
Design by Matt Holmen


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Lauren O'Connell Los Angeles, California

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