Get all 44 Lauren O'Connell releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Verona (feat. Elle Cordova & Toni Lindgren, Joangeline (feat. Nataly Dawn), Everything Feels Ridiculous, Horsefly, Framingham, Power Out, Verona, I Wanna Be Your Man, and 36 more.
1. |
Power Out
03:26
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The power went out
I was alone
Everything died
It was suddenly cold
In a place where it shouldnāt be
I waited it out
The choice had been mine
But something will twist
In the absence of light
In a room youāve never not been able to see
I didnāt mean to do it like I did
Ooh
And I underestimated
You
I think that I know
How we ended up there
Donāt know if you saw me
But I loved how you stared
And all of the jokes that you made
Gathered the parts
Of my broken form
Contorted myself
To the shape of your arms
And for the first time in a while I was more or less okay
I know you didnāt mean to change me like you did
Ooh
And itās not fair of me to blame you for the things I hid
But some days I do
I could have broken your nose that day
You called me over to call me selfish and tell me to go away
There was no right thing to say
But I was trying
I know you didnāt mean to lose it like you did
Ooh
Even then it was complicated
The only afternoon I ever hated you
You didnāt mean to change me like you did
But I always knew
Exactly what you wanted
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2. |
Framingham
04:17
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Sisters out in Framingham
Did you commandeer my dreams again
With Hobie cats and gardenias
The house the way it was
Are the starlings here all friends of yours
Or is it nature on a normal course
āCause they seem to multiply of late
And Iāve been listening for fate
Did you watch me fall apart
In the ragged holy dark
You did not rescue me
Can you pull me from the noise
I want to learn how to rejoice
Is it different from relief
Are you counting when my knuckles crack
Do you know when I will stumble back
A moment with an ancient name
It went and then it came
Did you watch me fall apart
In the ragged holy dark
You did not rescue me
Can you pull me from the noise
I want to learn how to rejoice
Is it different from relief
Did you watch me fall apart
In the ragged holy dark
You did not rescue me
Can you pull me from the noise
I want to learn how to rejoice
Is it different from relief
Am I the daughter of my grief
How much of me is me
Will I be received
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3. |
Joangeline
04:12
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The skin of Joangeline
Verging on impossibility
The only Iāve ever seen
Iām crumbling in your doorway
I saw me there in the half light
As shapeless there as the dawn
And every promise it brings
Dying to feel even half right
When all I wanted to know
All I wanted to know
Who would want me
The way I want you
Who named you Serenity
I have hardly known a momentās peace
But I want you, so come to me
Come and crack me open
I saw me there in the half light
As shapeless there as the dawn
And every promise it brings
Dying to feel even half right
And all I wanted to know
All I wanted to know
Who would want me
The way I want you
Drag me out, baby
Drag me out, baby Iām in it now
Drag me out, baby
Drag me out, baby Iām in it now
Drag me out, baby
Drag me out, baby Iām in it now
Drag me out, baby
Drag me out, baby Iām in it now
Drag me out, baby
Drag me out, baby
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4. |
Horsefly
03:45
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A cry in the hinge of the gate to the yard
Of the house that we briefly pretended was ours
A flicker of light as the lavender waved
And I vowed to surrender but part of me stayed behind
And I wanted to tell you
An unknown perennial grazes the eaves
By the window where you got a horsefly to leave
Iād come up holding a rolled magazine
And you wordlessly bade me to vacate the scene
And I did as you asked
But Iām never who Iād prefer to be
Itās like it never occurs to me
To let things go
A swirl in the wood of the bench by the curb
I sat solemn and sunburned and rendered inert
You found me there holding an ocean of need
And you wordlessly gave me permission to breathe
And I just started crying
And I wished I was not ashamed of it
Pinned down by the weight of it
Afraid that youād be afraid of it
What I canāt let go
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5. |
Jacket?
03:43
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Thereās color in this hour now
And Iām drunk enough to see
Iām calling from the parking lot
Iām giving up my seat
You can call it what you want
But I know you know what I mean
So talk to me
The edges become visible
When I choose to be aware
I can see beyond you
Every nightās just sitting there
Alive with possibility
But I donāt really care
Iām gonna see you again
However you want me to
Youāre gonna benefit in
The doubt Iām giving you
And itās all right
Iām glad that I canāt have you
Iām glad that I canāt have you
You took off your jacket
Could have done more efficiently
But you glanced real quick behind you
And you knew that I could see
The only better way to fuck me up
Would be if you were fucking me
What do you want from me?
Iām gonna see you again
However you want me to
Youāre gonna benefit in
The doubt Iām giving you
Iām gonna see you again
However you want me to
Youāre gonna benefit in
The doubt Iām giving you
And itās all right
Iām glad that I canāt have you
Iām glad that I canāt have you
You donāt have to be how I imagine you
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6. |
I Wanna Be Your Man
04:36
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Come over, I want to see
How it feels when you lean into me
All under uncertainty
Iāve made no plans
Carry no demands
But you should understand
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna know the threads you weave
Spun silk of the lives that you lead
Whatever you want me to see
Is in these hands
All at your command
And baby if I can
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I set my mind to sea
To know what my body believes
It came back in one piece
Wanting you
Felt you in a half-seen dream
I wonāt assume you came to me
Whatever happened I came to be
Wanting you
Come over, I want to see
How it feels when you lean into me
This thrumming inside of me
Beats a trance
Out to beat the band
I feel it all expand
I wanna break the dam
Overplay my hand
Baby if I can
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
I wanna be your man
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7. |
Far Between
02:59
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Iām aware that Iām gonna lose you
Iāve known a while now
Iāve been trying on that feeling
Iāve been wearing it around
Or imagining myself
As the person that you need
Just to feel your quiet wanting
For something Iāll never be
āCause I canāt change myself
To suit you
Oh I canāt change myself
To suit you
Been steering clear of conversations
Where you might ask me how it feels
Like me saying it out loud
Would be the thing that makes it real
But Iām noticing itās easy
Your questions few and far between
Youāve run out of space for knowing
What everything means to me
Oh why havenāt you left?
Why havenāt I?
Oh why havenāt you left?
Why havenāt I?
And I want you, I still want you
Expect Iām going to
For some time
And I miss you, I already miss you
āCause weāve been out of tune
For some time
Itās been a while
Itās gonna be a while
Itās been a while
Itās gonna be a while
Oh itās been a while
Itās gonna be a while
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8. |
Verona
02:23
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Let me fall into you Verona
Let me fail to name
Every bit of daylight in refraction
Every little shine upon your ocean
Let me try anyway
When you are away Verona
Iāll love you unfazed
Through every moment I donāt need to witness
Every little memory I canāt know
To cradle in the highest state of wonder
When you come alive that way
Ooh I
Awake in the night
Considering flight
Ooh if Iād only known to
Can I ease my mind Verona
To keep a proper place
For magic in each coiled permutation
Every little miracle of silence
Every single spark of shared abundance
As it finds its shape
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9. |
Anyway It's Not That Bad
03:50
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Two fifteen on a Thursday
And the same fuse blew again
Every curse that I can think of
For the last thing I plugged in
I storm out into the alley
Where my neighbor sees me cry
As I throw my kettle in the garbage
Insist that I am fine
And you, you, you
Meet a friend to shout over strangers
We pretend we wish would leave
With prearranged avoided topics
And our eyes on the TV
We trip up a time or two
Say āanyway, itās not that badā
Trade solemn nods about quitting drinking
As two more pints go on my tab
And you, you, you
I can wrap myself in some intentions
To make this solitude a friend
With elegant interpretations
Of the emptiness Iām in
Oh, the vastness of one lifetime
A sea of love that never ends
Oh, the infinite becoming
The potential to transcend
But my mind has left the party
Itās appraising possessions
In some imaginary bargain
Where I can touch your face again
And you, you, you
You, you, you
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10. |
Know You
02:32
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Been thinking it over
And I meant what I said
As we were tripping out
And staring at each other on the bed
I can handle the pain babe
What do you say babe
The figure on your shoulder
I was pressing against
Like if I held it hard enough
That I could soak you right in
I wanna know you
I wanna know you
You were kissing every blank
That I have never filled in
That I have guarded to reflect
Whatever moment itās in
But I wanna keep this
I feel myself changing
And I have tried to find relief
In what I chose not to recall
Like anything that ever hurt
Just never happened at all
But I wanna feel you
Whatever it means to
Want you to know me
I wanna know you
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11. |
Approach Me Now
03:46
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Oh lightness
Oh Iām conscious
I am surrounded
I am surrounded, approach me now
The way you move
Could I move you?
Somethingās alive, oh
Somethingās alive and Iām dying now
Whatās never or only not yet
Whatās as good as as good as it gets
A love that you would wither from wanting
But not knowing how to request
Approach me now
Approach me now
Approach me now
Approach me now
Come to rest
Shy of madness
Electric and golden
To let it enfold and revive you now
Night rolls in
Ache for motion
Breathless for signs
Or the reckless divine
To control you now
So you hurried again just to wait
For more than you thought you could take
A dream that came rushing
Blistering, staggering
Softening till you could say
Approach me now
Approach me now
Approach me now
Approach me now
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12. |
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Woke up to the feeling
Of my voice in my throat
Asked what I said
You said you did not know
And I did not believe you
Looked down to see you there
Naked and curled
And Iāve spooled up the sheets
Like itās the end of the world
And Iāve chosen not to save you
Someday soon
Will this be one of the times
That plays on a loop
When I am losing my mind
And Iām trying not to need you
When I was teasing the dawn
In the driveway with you
Brushed your hair from your face
And I did not kiss you
Something about how late it was getting
Like it mattered at all
Like there was something forbidding in that
Like every moment isnāt later than the last
Search another life
For an answer to bind to
Does she remember the same way that I do?
I will never ask her
How the icicles hung
And all fell together
When she slammed the door
With an āokay whateverā
And I just stood
Broke down and gathered
All of the ones that dared not to shatter
And I didnāt really know why
Everything feels ridiculous on borrowed time
As if thereās any other kind
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Lauren O'Connell Los Angeles, California
write / sing
play / produce
šš³ļøāā§ļø
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